I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So vagazzling was a success
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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