i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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