lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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