he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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