where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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