Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize