I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize