oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize