That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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