Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize