did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize