the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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