I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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