i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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