Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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