If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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