the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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