Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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