there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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