I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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