ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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