dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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