It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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