would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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