You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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