Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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