TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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