we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
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She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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