a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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