I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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