Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize