the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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