i need an iv and a liver transplant
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize