there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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