she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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