just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize