you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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