I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
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Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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