He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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