Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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