He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize