And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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