Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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