Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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