just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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