is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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