Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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