i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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