i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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