she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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